Last update Feb 2000

Save your words, Laugh out loud ! Please submit articles written by you or your friends to ballife@onenet.com.hk See more jokes in Chinese Version

1) Try this... It's fun !!

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It only takes 30 seconds. Work this out as you read. Don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

Ok, now, work quietly, BY Yourself, at your desk!

1. First of all, pick the number of days a week that you would like to eat out.
2. Multiply this number by 2.
3. Add 5.
4. Multiply it by 50.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1749. If you haven't, add 1748.
6. Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born.

Answer: see below

2) Crazy Q&A

1) Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

2) Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

3) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

4) Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

5) Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

6). Manager: Sorry,but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in
this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

7). Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday? Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

8). Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

9). Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken.Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

10). Diner: You'll drive me to my grave! Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

11). Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife:I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

12). Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

13). Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!

Son:That's why I say she's no good!

3) A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Nearly every hand went up. 

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

4) "Three Most Important People"

Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He told them, "I need three important people to send My message out to all people -
"Tommorrow I will destroy the earth".

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told
them "I have two really bad news items for you: 1.God really
exists and 2.Tomorrow He will destroy the earth".

Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and
Congress and told them "I have Good news and Bad News: 1. God really does exist; 2. The bad news is tommorrow he's destroying the earth".

Guess what Bill Gates is going to say?

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily annouced "I
have two fantastic announcements: 1. I am one of three most
important people on earth and 2. The Year 2000 problem is
solved".  --- from our member

5) Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Answer of Joke (1)

You should now have a three digit number:

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to go out each week).

The second two digits are your age !!!

This is the only year (1999) it will ever work, so spread the fun around while it lasts...